Wedding Wednesday: Pre Cana

I’ve always wanted to get married in a Church.  I’ve never been that big of a Church-goer, but God and I have always been homies.  But there just seemed to be something magical about that walk down the aisle that I’ve been thinking about since I was like 7.  Luckily I have the most understanding fiance ever, and so it was decreed that we’d get married in a Church.  (see our Church here!)

Of course, we always knew that getting married in the Catholic Church would mean that we had to go to Pre-Cana, but in our heads it wasn’t real.  I mean going to talk about your relationship in front of a priest?  AWKWARD.  But alas, we came to a point (umm February, aka 2 months before our wedding!) where we couldn’t put it off any longer, so we signed up for the one session in a place where we would at least feel at home… Saint Joseph’s University!  (Go Hawks!)

SJU Campus Ministry runs a one-day program for couples about to be wed, and I am so glad that we approached Pre-Cana in this way.  First of all, one session meant only having to dread going ONCE.  Not every week for six weeks.  (That would be a lot of dread!)  Second of all, since the program was on a college campus, a lot of the couples who ran the program were professors at the university… aka they were great at public speaking and discussing topics with a younger crowd.  (Robert and I actually recognized a lot of the couples from our undergrad classes, so they were mostly around our age.)  Time passed quickly, and I actually left Pre-Cana feeling awesome about our relationship.

Decision Making:

We first started talking about how to make decisions, and the best way to fight in an argument.  The couple presenting was lively, and they brought up a few excellent ways to approach things.  First, they mentioned that in decision making, you should reframe the situation so both the husband and wife were on the same side of the decision.  This way, the husband and wife are a TEAM, and not individual players trying to win.  (This might have been why Charlie Sheen’s marriages didn’t work out.  #winning.) 

The couple gave an example of when they were debating whether or not to buy a boat.  “it’s a lot of money,” said the wife.  “but it’s a great deal!” said the husband.  “maybe we can buy it in a few years,” said the wife.  And around and around they went… until one of them brought up the subject of the kids.  With only a few more years until their oldest went to college, they realized that there wasn’t much more time to spend as a whole family on the boat.  And once they were on the same side of the argument (the “it would be a great way to make memories” side), it was an easy decision.

The couple also discussed how to properly fight, and gave good suggestions such as:

• make physical contact with each other while you’re fighting.  fight the urge to push the other away.
• don’t go talking to third parties about your issues.  resolve it with the person who matters – your husband (or wife, or boyfriend, or fiance, whatever!)
• figure out what scares your partner.  this could help you figure out why they fight with you.  maybe your spouse comes from a broken family, and they are just afraid you are going to leave them like they were left before.  take this into consideration when you fight.
• don’t bring up anything in the past.  focus only on the matter at hand – not how many times that issue has come up before, or any unrelated issues that you think will help you “win.” 
• it’s not about winning!  really.  listen to each other instead of trying to formulate your next point while the other person is talking. 

Natural Family Planning:

One word: ugh.  You guys, I really tried to go into this one with an open mind.  I think I even said to Robert that this might be an option for us to try once we were ready to have kids.  (AKA in approx a bazillion years, for those of you keeping track.)  Then the couple started talking. 

First – I have to say, that both the husband and wife were doctors.  I.E. not college professors, and therefore they were not in the least engaging.  They were very preachy, and for someone who was talking about Sex and Intimacy, they were too shy and uncomfortable, which made everyone else uncomfortable.

Second – once they started discussing NFP, they mentioned how they were kind of… surprised… by their first child.  A real poster couple for how NFP really works, right?  They then went on to discuss the process of NFP, and words like cervical mucus were involved.  After I finished vomming, I really didn’t want to hear much more.  I think I’ll be on the birth control pill forever.  (TMI?  Sorry.)

(Something tells me that NFP isn’t all rainbows and star power as seen above.)

Hot Topics:

 The last segment of the day was hot topic-type issues such as budget, children, where to live when we get married, family, friends, and more.  We did a lot of exercises individually and together to see where each other stood on things.  This was very helpful, as it showed us how in sync Robert and I truly are.  (Barf, I know.)  But I’m serious guys, we rocked all those quizzes.  Go team!

Anyway, guys, Pre-Cana wasn’t all that bad (minus the NFP section… oh and the terrible, long Mass at the end!)  Ultimately we were happily surprised, and walked away feeling warm and fuzzy, and super in love.  (Barf again, right?)  And in the process, I feel like I learned a few more things about my religion.  (here are a few, in case you wanted to learn too!)

• Priests can’t because your family is supposed to be your highest priority.  And if your highest priority is your family, how will you take care of your church?  
• The church believes that marriage is meant for procreation.  And if you’re in a homosexual relationship, you won’t be able to procreate, and therefore the Church isn’t so keen on gay marriage. 

Do I agree with these stances?  Not necessarily!  But it was nice to learn about why the Church has the rules that it does. 

Anyway, Pre-Cana turned out to be a great experience, and provided us with lessons that actually seemed applicable in life – not just in the church! 

Did/would you do pre-marital counseling of any sort?  If so – what was your experience like?

Two Four Letter Words

1) Yoga; 2) Tofu

And I conquered both this weekend.  I’d mentioned how I bought a ton of yoga classes at Dana Hot Yoga, and I was too chicken to use them.  One of the deals expires on 3/24, so considering I leave everything to the last minute, it only seemed right that I start using them with 11 days left! (Oh sarcasm.)

I suited up and headed to Dana Hot Yoga to kick some ass.  As I was checking in, I ran into a good friend of mine from SJU and Big 4, Brianne!  Blog, meet Bri!

(Clearly this was NOT at yoga!)

Anyway, it was great catching up with Brianne before we started practicing.  Her last day at our old firm is tomorrow and I couldn’t be happier for her. 

The yoga class was great, and so was the studio.  A little cramped, but it was cozy, and it felt like I was in a ski lodge. It was hot, but I was close to the back door so whenever I leaned back I got a lovely little breeze.  Hot yoga cheating?  Maybe.  But it felt awesome, and I walked out of yoga class in a happy little daze.  I can’t wait to use up the rest of my classes… and then maybe go back for more.

Afterwards, I was craving tofu with no where to get it.  I took a leap and decided to make it myself!  I have heard amazing things about Gliding Calm’s tofu, so I gave it a shot.  I think I overcooked it a smidge, but I paired it with brown rice, tomatoes, carrots, and a fried egg and topped it with hot sauce…. a perfect after-yoga dinner. 

Sorry I hardly have any pictures for this post, but believe me when I tell you that I’m so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone!

The weekend, as briefly as possible

So in all that is unfair and cruel, Robert has had off for the whole week for Spring Break.  However, since I’m not working in Public Accounting anymore, I was able to take a day off with him to enjoy some time together.  We started our Friday with a wedding chore… picking up our Marriage Certificate!  We headed down to the courthouse in Media, PA in the morning to pick up our [expensive] right to marry.

To celebrate, we headed downtown to cash out some Groupons that I’ve been collecting.  Our first stop was The Academy of Natural Science to check out some dinosaurs!  Robert loves dinos  

Rawr!

After the museum (and all of the screaming children on field trips), we needed to refuel with some Mexican food and of course some alcoholic beverages at Mexican Post!  We had a Groupon for this as well, and since I do love myself some Mexcian Post, I jumped at the opportunity to visit!

We feasted on nachos, burritos (for the boy) and fajitas (for me!)  Super yum, as usual!

After our feast, we high-tailed it to the closest pub to watch the second half of the SJU-Duquense game in the A-10 Tournament Quarterfinals… which we WON!  What an amazing way to round out the day.  There was even another Hawk fan in the bar to share in the excitement.  High-fives all around!  The Hawk Will Never Die!

Saturday, we started out the day with another Hawk game, this time against Dayton in the Semi-finals.  Unfortunately we lost, but I couldn’t help but be appreciative of how the team really rallied around for the second half of this rebuilding year.  We have a strong freshman class, and I can’t wait to see how next year goes!

After the game, we headed out to join the Erin Express!  We really only went to one bar, but the beers were good, people watching was classic, and company was handsome.  What more could a girl ask for?

It was a great long weekend, just like this was a [great?] long post.  I know I said I’d keep it brief… but I couldn’t help it!  How was your weekend?